What is a traumatic event?
A traumatic event is a situation which has a strong impact on you such as the death of someone close to you, an unusual and significant event such as a house fire, or seeing something which could be frightening or upsetting.
How you may react
It can be helpful to know the common thoughts, feelings and behaviours which can happen after you experience a traumatic event. You might have some of these, all of them or none. There is no right or wrong way to react. Everyone is different.
Feelings
- Overwhelmed
- Easily irritated
- Worried
- Angry
- Tearful
- Guilty
- Like danger is all around
- It's hard to talk about what happened
- You do not want to be left
- You do not want to do anything
Behaviours
- Feeling sensitive to things, such as loud noises
- Arguing more with people
- Avoiding new things
- Finding changes are more difficult than normal
- Not hungry or eating all the time
- Feeling restless and needing to move all the time
- Finding it difficult to sleep perhaps because you're worrying or having bad dreams
Thoughts
- Wishing everything could go back to the way it was
- That you want to hurt yourself or do not want to be here anymore
- Worrying a lot about other people
- Thinking about what happened all the time and finding it difficult to focus on other things
- That you could have done something differently or could have stopped it happening
- That you can not cope anymore
What can help?
Talk
Think about people close to you that you might want to talk to about what happened. This could be your family, teachers, other important adults in your life, or your friends. You might not feel like talking straight away but it's usually helpful to talk to someone you trust in order to understand what happened and your feelings about it.
You might want to talk about it a lot, for a few weeks or months. Or you might not have spoken about it for a while, and then you are reminded of something and want to talk about it again. This is okay and perfectly normal – don’t worry that you are talking about it too much.
Notice how you feel
Be aware of your own thoughts and notice when negative thoughts and memories are racing round in your mind. When this happens, try to do calming activities as a way to focus your thoughts on the here and now. You could try deep breathing, yoga, listening to music on your headphones, or going for a walk.
Be kind to yourself, and remember that what happened was not your fault. You could also keep a journal and take a mental note of why you think some days have been better. In your journal, try to write three things that you are grateful for each day.
Keep going and focus on activities you enjoy
Make sure you try to keep to your normal routines, take part in hobbies, and see your friends. You do not need to feel guilty for having fun – it won’t change what happened. It's important to try to enjoy life even when you have faced difficulties.
You might not feel up to doing as much as normal, but do try not to isolate yourself. Take time to do activities which help you to relax and feel better. Any physical activity, like walking, jogging, swimming, or cycling, is a great way to create endorphins (feel-good hormones) and burn up cortisol (a hormone that makes you feel stressed).
Try to make plans for the future and stay positive about the places you want to go, the things you want to do and what you want to achieve.
Confront your concerns
If you are worried about going back to where a traumatic event happened, don’t be afraid to get help with doing this. Over time the things that you are worried about should lose their power to upset you.
When will I feel better?
After a few months, things should start to feel a bit better. If they do not, or if you are feeling worse, think about speaking to someone at home or in school. A counsellor or other professional help might be useful for you.
It can seem at times that nothing will ever be the same again. However, the evidence is that, with time, people can manage to come to terms with even dreadful experiences and find ways of continuing with their lives and relationships.
